Archive for the ‘Pasta’ Category

Lean Cuisine Swedish Meatballs

Thursday, October 22nd, 2009

Lean Cuisine Swedish Meatballs - Ad

Lean Cuisine Swedish Meatballs

Looks: Besides the meatballs, nothing on the box matches what’s in the package. The noodles are much thicker (and much softer) than pictured; the sauce is Snicker-bar brown, not Twinkie yellow, and the ratio of noodles to balls is way too low. 2 out of 5

Taste: The noodles were soggy and the gravy was bland. The meatballs were just ok, although I did appreciate getting six of them. (I’m looking at you, Banquet!) 2 out of 5

Michelina’s Spaghetti & Meatballs

Saturday, October 17th, 2009

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Michelina's Spaghetti & Meatballs

Looks: Once again, the box fails to account for the directions instructing the preparer to stir the meal together. When will these companies learn? Also, the noodles look more like extruded Play-Doh than the spaghetti on the packaging. 3 out of 5

Taste: Absolutely disgusting. The noodles fell apart as if I had cooked them for twice their instructed cooking time, causing the whole meal to feel like pig slop. Half of the meatballs were spongy; the other half were hard. All of them were tasteless, making me wonder just what ratio of breadcrumbs to meat Michelina’s is using in their recipe. The sauce had no redeeming qualities. There are not many meals that I can’t bear to finish, but this was definitely one of them. 0 out of 5

Velveeta Shells & Cheese Cup

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009

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Velveeta Shells and Cheese - 1

Velveeta Shells and Cheese - 2

Looks: I’ve always been wary of Velveeta macaroni products, if only for the reason that after you add the cheese sauce (but before you stir it in), it looks like Chester Cheetah has taken a dump on your lunch. But I do have to say that after stirring the cheese “sauce” in and waiting the recommended two minutes, the macaroni inside does look very similar to the shells on the package. Maybe a little waterier, but very close. 4.5 out of 5

Taste: About eight years ago, I tried Kraft Easy Mac for the first time, and I hated it. Ever since then, I’ve completely avoided microwave macaroni and cheese cups. There must have been great scientific advances in the field of microwave macaroni since then, because this Velveeta Shells cup is actually very good. There’s not very much of it (only 220 calories worth), but it tastes as good as if you made it on the stovetop. 4.5 out of 5

Bertolli Chicken Alfredo & Fettuccine

Thursday, October 8th, 2009

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Bertolli Chicken Alfredo & Fettuccine

Looks: This is the first Bertolli meal I’ve had that didn’t look almost exactly like its packaging. The noodles are off-color (if they were a movie, they’d be rated PG-13… ba dum bum), and the chicken and mushroom pieces shown on the bag are most definitely not that size. 2.5 out of 5

Taste: Although it doesn’t look as expected, it tastes fantastic. I used to call the Bertolli Chicken Florentine & Farfalle my favorite Bertolli meal, but my wife and I both agree that this dish tops it. The noodles have just the right amount of bite and texture, and the sauce is a nice light alfredo (admittedly, our favorite kind of sauce). The chicken is most, as Bertolli always manages. (You might be thinking, “Man, this guy is in love with Bertolli.” You would not be incorrect to think this.) I cannot think of enough things to say in praise of this meal. 5 out of 5