Food In Real Life

Pizza Hut Supreme Pizza

Looks: It feels kind of like the toppings migrated towards the center of the pizza. I used to work at Domino’s so I know of this tendency, since it’s easier to just sprinkle the food over the middle than to work the whole pie, but come on Pizza Hut employee, take a little pride in your work. 3.5 out of 5

Taste: Come on, we’ve all tasted a Pizza Hut Supreme pizza before, right? I don’t have to describe it here, do I? It is Friday after all… I put up quality posts here, every day, at 6 am. Is it too much to ask for a day off once in a while? Here’s your stinkin’ review: bready, chewy, tasty, greasy, too many peppers. 3 out of 5

Bertolli Chicken Alfredo & Fettuccine

Looks: This is the first Bertolli meal I’ve had that didn’t look almost exactly like its packaging. The noodles are off-color (if they were a movie, they’d be rated PG-13… ba dum bum), and the chicken and mushroom pieces shown on the bag are most definitely not that size. 2.5 out of 5

Taste: Although it doesn’t look as expected, it tastes fantastic. I used to call the Bertolli Chicken Florentine & Farfalle my favorite Bertolli meal, but my wife and I both agree that this dish tops it. The noodles have just the right amount of bite and texture, and the sauce is a nice light alfredo (admittedly, our favorite kind of sauce). The chicken is most, as Bertolli always manages. (You might be thinking, “Man, this guy is in love with Bertolli.” You would not be incorrect to think this.) I cannot think of enough things to say in praise of this meal. 5 out of 5

Healthy Choice Beef Tips Portabello

Looks: The beef looks much dryer (drier?) than pictured, and the mushrooms in the sauce are practically non-existent. The vegetables looks like shrunken versions of themselves, but the potatoes and caramel apple dessert aren’t too far off. I’m feeling generous today, so I’ll give it… 3 out of 5

Taste: The beef turned out to be just as dry as it looked – stringy and tasteless. The potatoes were gummy, and the broccoli was watery. (The carrots were surprisingly ok, with just a little hardness left in them.) The gold-medal winner of this meal was the caramel apple dessert – quite possibly the best tv-dinner-corner-pocket dessert I’ve ever had. It almost redeemed the stringy beef and bland potatoes. 2 out of 5

SmartOnes Lemon Herb Chicken Piccata

Looks: A little soupier than pictured, and without the fresh grillmarks on the chicken. Besides that, most of the colors were right on (especially the vegetables, which is usually a crapshoot), and the ratio of food amounts is as pictured. 3.5 out of 5

Taste: I did not expect to like this dish, given my experience with the last chicken and rice dish I tried, but much to my surprise, I loved it! The chicken wasn’t dry, and the vegetables still had some crispiness to them. The sauce was especially good, with a strong chicken flavor but with light lemony aftertones. I’ll definitely be buying this again. (As with its looks, the soupiness was the main drawback.) 4 out of 5