Archive for the ‘Pepperoni’ Category

Red Baron Pizza by the Slice

Wednesday, July 14th, 2010

Red Baron By The Slice - Ad

Red Baron By The Slice

Are you tired of making a pizza but having to throw most of it away since you can only eat one piece at a time? If so, you’ll want to check out Red Baron Pizza by the Slice. It’s like a whole pizza, but not!

It cooks in its own little cardboard and silvery-colored container that you stick in your microwave; this cooking method has the benefit of leaving the cheese in the middle of the slice cold but sill overcooking the bottom of the crust so that’s it’s strangely crispy.

If you buy enough of these that you can learn how to properly get it to heat up in your microwave, you’ll find that it’s a good-enough approximation of a normal Red Baron pizza – if you left it in your fridge overnight and then reheated it in your microwave in a little paper tray.

Looks: 2 out of 5 Taste: 2.5 out of 5

Totino’s Pizza Rolls (Combination)

Sunday, October 18th, 2009

Totino's Pizza Rolls (Combination) - Ad

Totino's Pizza Rolls (Combination)

Looks: If Totino’s hadn’t felt the need to show off the bursting guts of the flying pizza rolls, this product would have gotten 5 out of 5. However, there’s no way that the amount of filling inside will overflow the crust like they depict on the box, unless you peeled away half of the roll rather than cutting it. Besides that though, the size and color are perfect. 4 out of 5

Taste: Except for being a little bit oily, these Pizza Rolls taste great. They have a rich flavor, and the bits of meat are actual tangible, unlike some other “meat” flavored products I’ve tried. Make sure you let them cool off for about five minutes before eating them, or your burnt mouth won’t be able to taste their delicious flavor. (Side note: I can’t look at the real-life picture without picturing the open pizza rolls singing a little pizza roll song.) 4 out of 5

Pizza Hut Supreme Pizza

Friday, October 9th, 2009

Pizza Hut Supreme Pizza - Ad

Pizza Hut Supreme Pizza

Looks: It feels kind of like the toppings migrated towards the center of the pizza. I used to work at Domino’s so I know of this tendency, since it’s easier to just sprinkle the food over the middle than to work the whole pie, but come on Pizza Hut employee, take a little pride in your work. 3.5 out of 5

Taste: Come on, we’ve all tasted a Pizza Hut Supreme pizza before, right? I don’t have to describe it here, do I? It is Friday after all… I put up quality posts here, every day, at 6 am. Is it too much to ask for a day off once in a while? Here’s your stinkin’ review: bready, chewy, tasty, greasy, too many peppers. 3 out of 5

SmartOnes Artisan Creations Pepperoni Pizza

Monday, October 5th, 2009

SmartOnes Artisan Creations Pepperoni Pizza - Ad

SmartOnes Artisan Creations Pepperoni Pizza

Looks: The pizza on the box holds much more pepperoni, herbs, and cheese. That’s 0-for-3 on the main components of the dish; it gets one point for having a crust, and one point for being the right size: 2 out of 5

Taste: Given the average taste of the regular SmartOnes Pepperoni pizza, I expected the same from this pizza. And given the fact that I wrote the previous sentence, you can assume that is not what happened. This pizza reminded me of the pizza rectangles they used to serve at my grade school, but not as good. (I had no idea my school was serving “artisan creation”-grade pizza.) The sauce is gummy and close to ketchup; the cheese and crust are tasteless. Blech. 1 out of 5