Frozen – Page 17 – Food In Real Life

SmartOnes Artisan Creations Pepperoni Pizza

Looks: The pizza on the box holds much more pepperoni, herbs, and cheese. That’s 0-for-3 on the main components of the dish; it gets one point for having a crust, and one point for being the right size: 2 out of 5

Taste: Given the average taste of the regular SmartOnes Pepperoni pizza, I expected the same from this pizza. And given the fact that I wrote the previous sentence, you can assume that is not what happened. This pizza reminded me of the pizza rectangles they used to serve at my grade school, but not as good. (I had no idea my school was serving “artisan creation”-grade pizza.) The sauce is gummy and close to ketchup; the cheese and crust are tasteless. Blech. 1 out of 5

Bertolli Chicken Florentine & Farfalle

SUPER SPECIAL HAIKU FRIDAY!

Looks:

Chicken not so browned
But All else looks terrific
4 points out of 5

Taste:

Man I love this stuff
I could eat it all winter
Full 5 out of 5

Have you tried this meal? Leave your own haiku describing it in the comments below.

Healthy Choice Traditional Turkey Breast

Looks: I’ll say this: the vegetable mix looks *exactly* like it does on the box. The cherry crisp isn’t far off either (some of the oats migrated to the corner during the freezing process), and while it’s a little jumbled (and hard to see in the picture), the turkey + stuffing + gravy looks very much like the box. Not bad, Healthy Choice! 4.5 out of 5

Taste: Hands down, the best frozen turkey I’ve ever had. The first bite was moist and flavorful, the second bite (and third and fourth…) was downright juicy. The gravy had a meaty, peppery taste, and the stuffing wasn’t soggy. It even had raisins in it, which I love. The cherry crisp could have used some more crisp – it was mostly cherries, but the taste was fine – and in accordance with the FDA’s new “Respect the Veg” program, I am obligated to mention that the vegetable mix was “delicious” and “mouth-watering” and not at all “bland” or “lame.” 4 out of 5

Jack’s Half & Half Pepperoni and Cheese Pizza

Looks: Everything looks pretty close. Oh, except that the pizza on the package has about 5 times the cheese as the real thing. There’s barely enough cheese in real life to cover the sauce, and the package shows it stretching off of each slice! Not in a million years. 2.5 out of 5

P.S. Bonus points for the first commenter to find another glaring inaccuracy in the packaging picture.

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Taste: On a pizza scale from 1 to 10, this is ketchup and cheese on a cracker. It’ll do in a pinch, but almost any other pizza outscores it. 2 out of 5