Cheese – Page 11 – Food In Real Life

SmartOnes Artisan Creations Pepperoni Pizza

Looks: The pizza on the box holds much more pepperoni, herbs, and cheese. That’s 0-for-3 on the main components of the dish; it gets one point for having a crust, and one point for being the right size: 2 out of 5

Taste: Given the average taste of the regular SmartOnes Pepperoni pizza, I expected the same from this pizza. And given the fact that I wrote the previous sentence, you can assume that is not what happened. This pizza reminded me of the pizza rectangles they used to serve at my grade school, but not as good. (I had no idea my school was serving “artisan creation”-grade pizza.) The sauce is gummy and close to ketchup; the cheese and crust are tasteless. Blech. 1 out of 5

Ore Ida Bagel Bites (Cheese)

Looks: Besides the cheese not melting evenly (you can still tell that it was sprinkled on in mini-cube form), their size and mass are advertised appropriately. 4.5 out of 5

Taste: First off, what is Ore Ida doing making both pizza bagels? Isn’t potatoes their game? Secondly, when eating Bagel Bites, I always have the same dilemma: do I try and bite the mini-bagel in half, getting sauce and cheese all over my lips when I invariably can’t bite cleanly through the bagel, or do I stuff the whole thing in my mouth like some kind of bagel-crazed giant? The answer is b, the bagel-crazed giant one.

I think Bagel Bites are great. They’re chewy, cheesy, and a box of them is exactly the right size for one person to eat as a meal. They are even customizable! If you like them crispy, cook them in the oven; if you like them soft and bendy, cook them in the microwave. If you like them really crunchy, just eat them straight out of the freezer. 4 out of 5

Jack’s Half & Half Pepperoni and Cheese Pizza

Looks: Everything looks pretty close. Oh, except that the pizza on the package has about 5 times the cheese as the real thing. There’s barely enough cheese in real life to cover the sauce, and the package shows it stretching off of each slice! Not in a million years. 2.5 out of 5

P.S. Bonus points for the first commenter to find another glaring inaccuracy in the packaging picture.

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Taste: On a pizza scale from 1 to 10, this is ketchup and cheese on a cracker. It’ll do in a pinch, but almost any other pizza outscores it. 2 out of 5

DiGiorno Ultimate Pizzeria Style Four Cheese Pizza

Looks: Definitely closer to the box than other DiGiorno pizzas. While I can never get them to brown as evenly as the box shows, the cheese did brown to a similar color. Also, I couldn’t get the cheese to congeal the way it’s shown on the box, but it might have been due to cutting the pizza while it was too hot (although any pizza place would cut the pizza straight out of the oven). The amount of cheese was properly represented though, so no big whoop. 4 out of 5

Taste: The idea of the “Ultimate Pizzeria Style” is that it’s supposed to taste more like pizza from a genuine pizza joint than DiGiorno’s usual chain-pizza delivery style, and I was pleasantly surprised that it didn’t taste like a pizza that came out of my freezer. The cheese was thick, the sauce had a little bite to it, and the crust (which really made the difference) was chewy, but not so chewy that it was more like bread than pizza crust. The one point I’d take away from it is that the fontina cheese (one of the four varieties used) left a bitter aftertaste to the occasional bite, but overall, it was very good for frozen. 4.5 out of 5