Food In Real Life

Red Baron Biscuit-Style Scrambles (Bacon)

Looks: While the food on the box appears as a golden, flaky, biscuit covered in fluffy eggs and melted cheese, the real deal is closer to a molten Pac-Man dead-set on devouring you and anyone you care about. The crust singes around the edges, the cheese doesn’t melt evenly, and the bacon cooks much darker than pictured. 3.5 out of 5

Taste: Regardless of how it looks, this thing is delicious – it’s like deep-dish pizza had a baby with an Egg McMuffin, and they named it Scrambles. The cheese and bacon are great (of course), and although the egg doesn’t really make you think “hey, this tastes like eggs,” it doesn’t detract from the flavor. There’s also a creamy sauce underneath the toppings, and it is most likely made from magic pixie deliciousness dust. My only complaint is that the outer edge of the biscuit gets too hard during cooking. 4.5 out of 5

Lean Cuisine Sesame Stir Fry with Chicken

Looks: Besides the chicken pieces lacking grill marks and the noodles being just a little too thick, I don’t see anything wrong with this meal’s looks. I’m particularly struck by how accurate the colors are. 4.5 out of 5

Taste: It’s pretty good; the vegetables aren’t soggy, the chicken isn’t dry, and the noodles are substantial. I especially liked the sauce – sweet, but with a meaty undertone. I don’t have much else to say except that this is one of the few “noodles plus vegetables” frozen meals that I’d buy again. 3.5 out of 5

Wendy’s Junior Bacon Cheeseburger

Looks: As is normal for fast-food burgers, the sandwich was pretty squished by the time I got home. (That’s how it was given to me; I didn’t set anything on top of it or anything.) The lettuce isn’t substantial enough to hold up the tomato and bun like in the picture, but all of the colors and general proportions of the ingredients are right on. 3.5 out of 5

Taste: For the $0.99 that this burger costs, it very well may be the best value for the money in all of fast-food land. The tomato and lettuce are crisp and cool, but the burger and bacon are meaty and warm. The entire ensemble comes together for very tasty, chewy, comforting mouthfuls, and there’s nothing I would change about it (except for making it free and available everywhere). 5 out of 5

Announcement: Ratings for Everything

Just wanted to mention that now you can see the average looks and taste ratings for meals grouped by brand, ingredient, cooking method, storage method, and tag. The rating is shown at the top of the profile page for each aspect. For example:

Meals by Healthy Choice average a taste rating of 2.4, while meals from SmartOnes average 3.3.
Meals containing cheese have gotten average looks and taste ratings of 3 and 3.14 respectively, while meals containing shrimp averaged higher scores of 3.8 and 4.1.
Meals cooked on the stovetop have the highest taste rating of all cooking methods at 3.83, while meals cooked in the microwave have the lowest taste rating at 2.6.

Here are the complete lists of all of these aspects, including their average ratings:

Which rating surprises you most?

And just for fun, here’s an authentic Neapolitan pizza I had a few years ago in Sorrento, Italy:

My mouth is watering just looking at that picture.