Archive for the ‘Bread’ Category

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Hot Pockets Mini Cheeseburger SideShots

Friday, April 30th, 2010

Hot Pockets Mini Cheeseburger SideShots - Ad

Hot Pockets Mini Cheeseburger SideShots

Looks: The bread is four times as thick as it is on the box, and the filling looks more like chunky diarrhea than cheesy hamburger. The colors and sizes are all accurate though, so it’s not a total loss. 2.5 out of 5

Taste: Remember how I said that the filling looks like chunky diarrhea? Care to venture a guess as to how it tastes? Wrong. It tastes like ground hamburger mixed with boiling lava hot cheese inside of a bun. Nothing too special – I wouldn’t buy it again, but at least it didn’t taste as sick as it looks. 2 out of 5

While we’re on the subject of Hot Pockets, here are two of my favorite Hot Pocket-related comedy bits.

Posted in Beef, Bread, Cheese, Frozen, Hot Pockets, Microwave | 3 Comments »

Lunchables Ham and American Cheese Sub Sandwich

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010

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Lunchables Ham and American Cheese Sub Sandwich

Looks: I bet you can’t even tell which picture is the box and which is the real thing. 5 out of 5

Taste: The succulence of the ham was matched only by the deep, earthy je ne sais quoi of the Kraft American cheddar. The mayonnaise lent a savory (yet somehow fat-free) lightness to the sandwich that, together with the humble heartland flavor of the whole-grain bun, made this truly a sandwich not to be missed.

Just kidding – it was ok. Four inches of average bread combined with four inches of average ham combined with four inches of average cheese topped with four inches of average mayo wins this sandwich an average score. 2.5 out of 5

Posted in Bread, Cheese, Hall of Fame (Looks), Ham, Mayonnaise, Oscar Mayer, Refrigerated | 7 Comments »

Jack in the Box Mini Sirloin Burgers

Monday, April 26th, 2010

jack in the Box Mini Sirloin Burgers - Ad

jack in the Box Mini Sirloin Burgers

jack in the Box Mini Sirloin Burger

Reader Rose Marshall provided this review of tiny little burgers from some place called “Jack in the Box,” which, being from Minnesota, I have never heard of.

Looks: Basically looked “mini” and sirlion-y…but in the thrown together way that all fast food looks. The burgers were thick and not too dry. The biggest discrepancy was the buns, they would have looked like the photo, except they were burnt….like BLACK burnt. I guess my Mom taught me to eat burnt food, so I didn’t really mind. 3.5 out of 5

Taste: Tasted pretty good, actually tasted like real food. Which, in some messed up way disappointed me, because I expect a fast food burger to be a super-greasy delicious sin. But, it was not as sinful as some, meat was thick and meaty. I would eat it again. The cooked onions were a nice touch, different that the standard toppings. 4 out of 5

I don’t know about you, but that last picture is the most appetizing thing I’ve seen all week.

Posted in Bread, Cheese, Cheeseburger, Fast Food, Jack in the Box, Ketchup, Reader Submission, Sirloin, White Onions | 9 Comments »

Jimmy Dean Sausage and Cheese Croissant Breakfast Entree

Friday, April 2nd, 2010

Jimmy Dean Sausage and Cheese Breakfast Entree - Ad

Jimmy Dean Sausage and Cheese Breakfast Entree

Looks: The entire thing looks like it’s had the air taken out of it. Did I accidentally step into my vacuum chamber again? 3.5 out of 5

Taste: I reviewed the potatoes and apples in a previous post; their presence gives this meal a maximum possible score of 3.5 out of 5. The croissant sandwich is actually quite good – not good in terms of real croissants, real sausages, or real cheeses, but good in terms of “I’m late for work and need something to shove in my mouth on the way there.” It reminded me very much of the croissant sandwiches that Burger King sells for breakfast – soft and not too spicy. This passable sandwich brings the overall meal average to 3 out of 5. 3 out of 5

Posted in Apple, Bread, Cheese, Frozen, Jimmy Dean, Microwave, Potato, Sausage | 2 Comments »

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