Archive for the ‘Oven’ Category

Jeno’s Pizza

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

Because I am not a machine, here is another reader submission, this time from Razor512:

Jeno's Pizza - Ad

Jeno's Pizza

“For $1.69 I picked up a box of Jeno’s pizza (total waste of money). This pizza if probably one of the blandest pizzas I have ever tasted. The crust is very thin, it looks thick due to it mostly being hollow on the inside. There is very little cheese and the sauce has very little taste and there is very little sauce (it the sauce it pretty much a part of the crust it is like the factory spilled sauce on the pizza and then tried to clean it all off leaving behind only the stain of sauce that used to be there). Overall for taste, I give it a 1 out of 5 and for look, I give it a 1 out of 5 also.”

Thanks, Razor512. (I especially enjoyed the phrase “stain of sauce.”)

If you’d like to submit your own Food IRL, head on over to the Reader Submission Form. Include a photo, and optionally (but ideally), a description of how the food tasted.

McCain Potato Smiles

Friday, September 18th, 2009

McCain Potato Smiles - Ad

McCain Potato Smiles

Looks: Not much to say here; they look exactly like they do on the package. (Depending on your preferred skin tone, just adjust the baking time to get your color of choice.) 5 out of 5

Taste: They don’t have much of a taste, although the entertainment factor of eating faces makes them more enjoyable to eat than your average tator tot. However, even slathered with ketchup, these smileys are extremely dry. After eating only a few, they had sapped all of the saliva out of my mouth, and after I finished a plateful, I had to be put on an IV in order to rehydrate. 2 out of 5

DiGiorno Stuffed Crust Five Cheese Pizza

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

Digiorno Stuffed Crust Five Cheese Pizza - Ad

DiGiorno Stuffed Crust Five Cheese Pizza

Looks: The cheese didn’t melt as evenly as depicted, probably because there was far more cheddar in the mix than depicted on the box. Additionally, the outer rim of half the pizza swelled way up, making the crust appear to be 4 inches wide in spots. The cheese inside the crust was not as obvious as on the package, and there were a lot of stray sauce spots peeking through where cheese was missing. 3 out of 5

Taste: Meh. It tastes like any any frozen pizza, until you get to the crust, where you’re suddenly put off by the overpowering greasiness and bitterness of the cheddar cheese mixture (think Cheez Whiz) they inexplicably used to stuff the crust instead of mozzerella. I wouldn’t buy it again. 2 out of 5

Barber Foods Stuffed Chicken Breasts

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009

Barber Foods Stuffed Chicken Breasts - Ad

Barber Foods Stuffed Chicken Breasts

Looks: Even before cooking, all of the portions were split open on top, exposing the not-quite-the-right-red marinara filling. The chicken doesn’t have the same meaty mass as the box pictures, but the crust and chicken are the correct color, so it’s got that going for it (which is nice). Oh, and the plate pictured on the box would have to be at most four inches in diameter. 3 out of 5

Taste: Confusing. My tastebuds were like “Mmmm, I like these tastes,” but my mouth was like “Uhhhh, I’m not so sure about these textures.” The crust was flavorful and a little crunchy, and the sauce made up for the chicken’s dryness, but none of the textures meshed together. It was more like I was eating some breading and also some chicken and also some sauce that just happened to be sitting next to each other. 3 out of 5