Archive for the ‘Hall of Shame (Taste)’ Category

Hormel Compleats Turkey & Dressing with Gravy

Friday, November 6th, 2009

Hormel Compleats Turkey & Dressing - Ad

Hormel Compleats Turkey & Dressing

Looks: The turkey lurks, just below the surface, peering out like a cloudy pupil-less eye. What lies beneath? Only time will tell:

Hormel Compleats Turkey & Dressing - Unboxed

This is going to surprise you, but that was actually a picture of the food before I ate it, not after I chewed it and spit it out. To be fair, the turkey and gravy look close enough to the picture on the package, but the stuffing literally looks like canned dog food. Stay tuned for the next paragraph, where I actually put this stuff in my mouth! 1.5 out of 5

Taste: WHY DID I EVER PUT THIS IN MY MOUTH? After trying the roast beef Compleat, I never should have even opened this. The turkey was gritty, the gravy was chunky, and the stuffing was the worst excuse for a bread-based product I’ve ever tasted in my life – soggy, goopy, with no discernable texture. The benefit of this meal looking and tasting like dog food was that my dog had no problem finishing it off for me. 0 out of 5

Healthy Choice Sweet Asian Potstickers

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

Reader Dena Struchtemeyer sent in this review of Healthy Choice’s Sweet Asian Potstickers:

Healthy Choice Sweet Asian Potstickers - Ad

Healthy Choice Sweet Asian Potstickers

“I recently tried Healthy Choice’s ‘Sweet Asian Potstickers’ meal. That was a mistake. Notice how the ‘sauce’ looks like sewage? Not a coincidence. By the time the meal was cooked, the rice, carrots and potstickers had become thoroughly soaked in the sauce. As a result, the entire thing tasted like a sickly-sweet soy sauce. Except that is, for the stuffing inside the potstickers. The concoction was so dry that it seemed almost shocking compared to the other soaked parts of the meal.”

“The potstickers aren’t even the same shape or color as on the box and the potsticker casing is so chewy that I almost flung half the meal across the room trying to eat it. That nice creamy on sauce on the box? It’s nonexistent. The nicely chopped green onions? They’re nonexistent too. The large chopped pieces of bell pepper? You guessed it, nonexistent. The whole thing was awful.”

Healthy Choice Meat Loaf

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

Healthy Choice Meat Loaf - Ad

Healthy Choice Meat Loaf

Looks: If I had plated it like it is plated on the box, it would have matched up nicely, except for the dessert. The colors are all very similar, and the portion sizes are the same. The apple cranberry crisp, however, doesn’t look like what they show on the box at all. It doesn’t contain any cranberries (that I could find), and the apple pieces are way too small. 4 out of 5

Taste: Let me paint you a picture: You like meatloaf. You buy some meatloaf. You cook the meatloaf. You sit down to eat the meatloaf. You take a bite of the meatloaf. You chew the meatloaf. You spit out the meatloaf. Why did you spit out the meatloaf? Probably because there was a piece of what you can only hope was gristle the size of a baby’s tooth in your first bite. (The rest of the meal was ok, but this first impression made it impossible to enjoy the other food quadrants.) 1.5 out of 5

Hormel Compleats Roast Beef with Gravy

Sunday, October 25th, 2009

Hormel Compleats Roast Beef & Gravy - Ad

Hormel Compleats Roast Beef & Gravy

Looks: Nothing about the way this looks makes me want to eat it. The gravy is translucent (not thick like on the cover), yet there’s so much of it that you can’t see through it to the potatoes below. The potatoes appear to be a single solid mass, rather than fluffy mounds, and the roast beef slab lurks near the surface like the carcass of a dead Loch Ness monster. None of these things are depicted on the box. 1.5 out of 5

Taste: Craptacular. Even with all that gravy, the beef is so dry that I needed to continually drink bottles of water while I chewed it to avoid dehydration. The potatoes are nasty (closer to modeling clay than vegetable), and the gravy wouldn’t stick to them. I managed three bites of this “Compleat” meal before throwing it away – I didn’t feel comfortable feeding it to my dog. I suppose I should have known it would be terrible; it’s roast beef that you store in your pantry… That’s just not right. 0 out of 5