Archive for the ‘Frozen’ Category

Hot Pockets Mini Cheeseburger SideShots

Friday, April 30th, 2010

Hot Pockets Mini Cheeseburger SideShots - Ad

Hot Pockets Mini Cheeseburger SideShots

Looks: The bread is four times as thick as it is on the box, and the filling looks more like chunky diarrhea than cheesy hamburger. The colors and sizes are all accurate though, so it’s not a total loss. 2.5 out of 5

Taste: Remember how I said that the filling looks like chunky diarrhea? Care to venture a guess as to how it tastes? Wrong. It tastes like ground hamburger mixed with boiling lava hot cheese inside of a bun. Nothing too special – I wouldn’t buy it again, but at least it didn’t taste as sick as it looks. 2 out of 5

While we’re on the subject of Hot Pockets, here are two of my favorite Hot Pocket-related comedy bits.

Kashi Sicilian Veggie Pizza

Thursday, April 22nd, 2010

Kashi Sicilian Veggie Pizza - Ad

Kashi Sicilian Veggie Pizza

Today’s review comes from reader Megan W. of Lawrence, Kansas:

Looks: The actual pizza appeared to have more, and larger, pieces of vegetables than are shown on the box. The crust didn’t brown much at all. The sauce is as startlingly orange as it appears on the box. The vegetables had actual grill marks exactly as shown. When I first unwrapped the pizza some of the vegetables had migrated to one side so I arranged them to be more even across the pizza.4 out of 5

Taste: This was a delicious pizza. The crust very good: just salty enough with a nice mix of crisp and chewy. The sauce, although orange, was tasty and had noticeable tomato flavor. The vegetables were plentiful, not too soft, and actually tasted grilled (apparently the grill-marks weren’t just for appearances). Although the pizza was flavorful, it was a bit under-seasoned. It could have benefited from some Italian herbs and/or pepper. 4.5 out of 5

My only comment is that it appears that Kashi forgot to add the cheese. Even more embarrassingly, they forgot to add the cheese to the pizza they photographed for the box. Crazy!

Healthy Choice Chicken Margherita Cafe Steamer – Revisited

Tuesday, April 20th, 2010

Another revisitation of a reader submission:

Healthy Choice Chicken Margherita Cafe Steamer - Ad

Sydney’s picture:

Healthy Choice Chicken Margherita Cafe Steamer

My picture:

Healthy Choice Chicken Margherita Cafe Steamer

Looks: As it lacks the thick brown sauce pictured on the box and the long pieces of chicken with discernibly browned skin but white meat, I do believe that this box has seen a little photoshopping in its day. 3 out of 5

Taste: You may remember that Sydney called this bowl of food “the worst thing I have ever eaten.” I think it’s fair to say that I had a different experience. It’s certainly not the best thing I’ve ever eaten, but it’s a mildy pleasing combination of the noodles + chicken + sauce trio that comprises essentially every Healthy Choice meal out there. 3 out of 5

Lean Cuisine Pasta Romano with Bacon

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

Lean Cuisinse Pasta Romano with Bacon - Ad

Lean Cuisinse Pasta Romano with Bacon - Ad-2

Looks: Except for the absence of melted cheese (which most likely melted into the sauce as it cooked), Lean Cuisine accurately portrayed this meal. Probably because it doesn’t look disgusting in real life, so there’s no reason to fake it. 4.5 out of 5

Taste: Nothing special, but nothing terrible. In the grand scheme of pasta, there are five levels of taste:

1. Michelina’s
2. Chef Boyardee
3. Dry pasta with canned sauce
4. Homemade pasta with homemade sauce
5. Homemade pasta with homemade sauce in Italy

This meals comes in somewhere around #3. The slight bacon taste gives it a little edge over your generic jarred spaghetti sauce, but I might not have noticed that there was bacon in this if I hadn’t already known it. 3 out of 5