Frozen – Page 21 – Food In Real Life

Eggo Bake Shop Twists (Apple)

Looks: The outside of the product is almost exactly the same as the one pictured on the box. The inside, however, looks nothing like the packaging. Rather than two solid tubes of apple filling, the pastry contains two flat apple stripes, and the solid breading surrounding the filling is actually crumbly and cakey. (So crumbly, in fact, that I couldn’t make a clean cut to show the filling.) 3 out of 5

Taste: The twist is sweet, soft, and tastes like apple pie. (The sugar on top is a nice touch.) The only bad thing about this pastry is that it’s gone in three bites or less; it would have earned a full 5 out of 5 if it were two feet long. 4 out of 5

P.S. Eggo – if you do introduce a two-foot-long version of this pasty, I would like to be the first to know. Thanks!

Bertolli Shrimp Scampi and Linguine

Looks: In my experience, Bertolli’s Skillet Meals are always represented quite accurately on the packaging, and the Shrimp Scampi is no exception. While the shrimp don’t quite have the color or heft of the shrimp on the package, and the peppers are overrepresented on the box by about 25%, the overall texture, color, and amount of the food is very close. 4.5 out of 5

Taste: Every time I have one of Bertolli’s Skillet Meals, I am very impressed by the quality. It’s essentially a flash-frozen bag of all the ingredients that you just heat it up in a skillet until the sauce melts, so finding out that the pasta has the right amount of bite and the sauce actually tastes good was quite a surprise. In the Shrimp Scampi, the pasta was perfect, the shrimp weren’t rubbery like frozen shrimp can tend to be, but the peppers were a little bit soggy. 4.5 out of 5

DiGiorno Stuffed Crust Five Cheese Pizza

Looks: The cheese didn’t melt as evenly as depicted, probably because there was far more cheddar in the mix than depicted on the box. Additionally, the outer rim of half the pizza swelled way up, making the crust appear to be 4 inches wide in spots. The cheese inside the crust was not as obvious as on the package, and there were a lot of stray sauce spots peeking through where cheese was missing. 3 out of 5

Taste: Meh. It tastes like any any frozen pizza, until you get to the crust, where you’re suddenly put off by the overpowering greasiness and bitterness of the cheddar cheese mixture (think Cheez Whiz) they inexplicably used to stuff the crust instead of mozzerella. I wouldn’t buy it again. 2 out of 5

Antioch Farms Chicken Kiev

Looks: While the color and texture are almost identical, the chicken kiev pictured on the box is about 50% longer than the ones found inside. (There is no way that the sliced and unsliced portions on the box belong to the same kiev.) The butter sauce is portrayed accurately, even though my picture doesn’t really show it. (It’s boiling-lava hot, so slicing the chicken without splashing butter magma everywhere was a challenge.) 4 out of 5

Taste: Pretty good. The very ends of the chicken were a bit dry, as they didn’t benefit from the butter bath that the other slices received, but the breading was crisp and the rest of the chicken moist and flavorful. 4.5 out of 5