Preaching truth to packaging. Pictures of packaged food, cooked to specifications, compared to the photo on the box.
This week’s reader submission comes from wring, who photographed this food that I did not know existed:
“Star Trek Eggo waffles don’t taste much different from your usual Eggo waffles. A little carboard-ey and has a lot of air inside. It’s good if you have nothing else to eat for breakfast. 2 out of 5 (versus real waffles)”
Here’s a picture of how they’re advertised:
Looks: Pretty close. The only point I’d take away is that the cheese isn’t as thick and doesn’t melt quite as evenly as the box portrays. 4 out of 5
Taste: It’s something of a misnomer to call this “pizza.” Good pizza comprises crust, sauce, and cheese that fuse together to make a single food where all of the flavors meld and complement each other. The food pictured above, which I will call breadsaucecheese, has all of the components of pizza, but the tastes stand out separately in your mouth. Don’t get me wrong – it tastes good, but it’s akin to happening to eat a piece of bread at the same time as some tomato sauce and some melted cheese. 3.5 out of 5
Looks: The sauce is a bit thicker than pictured (you can’t make out the individual noodles as well), and it’s a little lumpier too. 3.5 out of 5
Taste: SmartOnes is definitely the top of the heap when it comes to microwave meals. This dish avoids all of the traps that microwave macaroni usually falls into: the noodles are properly cooked; the cheese sauce isn’t gummy, but it isn’t watery either; and while it isn’t “bursting with cheese flavor” as the box claims, it does have a cheese flavor. 4 out of 5
Looks: Do you see, on the box, where it says “Enlarged to show quality”? It should really say “Enlarged because there’s hardly any food in this box,” because the “quality” they were showing doesn’t exist in real life. The breading on the fish sticks was slipping off, the macaroni noodles are not the proper scale, and the pudding is dark and lumpy, not smooth and creamy. 3 out of 5
Taste: Disappointing. The fish sticks were chewy, which I didn’t know was possible, because it’s minced fish meat – how can that be chewy? The macaroni was watery and tasteless, and there was so little pudding that I couldn’t find a spoon small enough to fit into the little bowl. (I’m obviously kidding about that; I just couldn’t think of any words to describe the pudding’s taste.) I would never buy this meal again. 1 out of 5