foodirl

Cesar Bistro Steak Tips

Looks: The packaging doesn’t show off much of this dish, but from what I can see, there’s too much gravy and not enough vegetables. Also, the broccoli doesn’t appear as fresh in real life as it does on the packaging. (I’m not sure why there’s a dog on the packaging; seems like a strange mascot for a food company.) 3 out of 5

Taste: When I found these little single-serving meals in the back of the pantry, I was suspicious. My wife hadn’t mentioned anything about buying them, so I thought maybe they were really old, but after taking my first bite, all my fears were put to rest. Despite its appearance, this is the most delicious packaged meat I’ve ever tasted – and I didn’t even have to heat it up! I’m salivating just thinking about it again… And even though the portion is smaller than my typical meal, I had so much energy after eating these steak tips that I was able to go outside with my dog and chase squirrels for three hours, which I can normally only do for about 45 minutes. 5 out of 5

McDonald’s Sausage Egg McMuffin

Looks: Well, the ingredients are in the right order, but none of them appear as advertised. The muffin is kind of wimpy, the egg misshapen, the sausage smaller than it should be, and the cheese is more of a greasy oil square that won’t melt. 2 out of 5

Taste: You remember that episode of The Simpsons where Homer drank a candle in order to coat his mouth with wax so he could eat the insanely hot peppers? Yeah, it’s kind of like that. The sandwich tastes ok – mostly like sausage and English muffin, but it leaves a coating of grease in your mouth for about three hours. So if you need tongue protection for some dangerous eating stunt, by all means, start with a Sausage Egg McMuffin. 1 out of 5

LightLife Smart Bacon

Another reader submission today, this one from Liz King:

“Smarter to just buy the real thing…

This ‘smart bacon’ tastes about as good as it looks – like cardboard. It’s dry, and as you can see in the picture, I could only stand to take 2 small bites before throwing the entire thing in the garbage. EW! I’m a meat eater who LOVES bacon, and I was looking for a healthier, easy-to-cook alternative. Never again!”

Looks: This product has the honorable distinction of being the lowest-scoring entry in Food IRL’s history. “Bacon” that looks like cardboard (and not even attractive cardboard)? 0 out of 5

SmartOnes Three Cheese Ziti Marinara

Looks: Much like the Healthy Choice Tomato Basil Penne, there is no way to cook this meal in a way that results in a dish like the one picture on the box without adding extra cheese (and some mint, I think). The picture on the box is also enlarged quite a bit, making the noodles appear larger than they actually are. 3 out of 5

Taste: SmartOnes frozen meals are generally a level above the competitors, but this one isn’t such a clear-cut winner. The ziti comes out a little over-cooked, and there’s no discernible cheese on the pasta since by the end of cooking, it has melted and been stirred into the sauce. It’s still a semi-filling meal, but not as tasty as the box would indicate. 3 out of 5