Food In Real Life

Hormel Homestyle Meat Loaf & Tomato Sauce

Bonus picture of the entire meatloaf, post-cooking:

Looks: I did not expect this to score any higher than a 3, but what can I say? Once it’s sliced, the meatloaf in the box matches the meatloaf on the box. 5 out of 5

Taste: While it’s not the best meatloaf I’ve ever had (that honor is tied between my mom’s meatloaf with cheese on top and the lamb meatloaf at Santorini), it’s surprisingly good for only taking four minutes to microwave. It was a little oily, and the meat grind was overly smooth, but I would probably buy this again if I’m ever in the market for pre-made meatloaf. 3.5 out of 5

Healthy Choice Orange Zest Chicken Cafe Steamer

Looks: Surprisingly accurate for a dish containing chicken, vegetables, and sauce. A few small differences though cause this meal to miss a perfect 5-out-of-5 score: The sauce (pictured as being poured over the dish) is obviously mixed in, the greens are a little wilted, and the green onions are MIA (or just very small). 4.5 out of 5

Taste: After seeing how close it looked to the box, I expected it to taste as good as it looked too, but I ended up disappointed. The chicken has a strange texture and taste that I wouldn’t have independently classified as chicken; it’s more like a meatball made of poultry. The vegetables don’t have much of a taste either, and they’re a bit too soft to have their texture make up for tastelessness. The sauce-and-rice mixture I had left towards the end of the dish did turn out to be quite tasty – if this meal had been “Sweet & Spicy Orange Zest Rice”, it would have scored higher. 3 out of 5

Totino’s Pizza Rolls (Combination)

Looks: If Totino’s hadn’t felt the need to show off the bursting guts of the flying pizza rolls, this product would have gotten 5 out of 5. However, there’s no way that the amount of filling inside will overflow the crust like they depict on the box, unless you peeled away half of the roll rather than cutting it. Besides that though, the size and color are perfect. 4 out of 5

Taste: Except for being a little bit oily, these Pizza Rolls taste great. They have a rich flavor, and the bits of meat are actual tangible, unlike some other “meat” flavored products I’ve tried. Make sure you let them cool off for about five minutes before eating them, or your burnt mouth won’t be able to taste their delicious flavor. (Side note: I can’t look at the real-life picture without picturing the open pizza rolls singing a little pizza roll song.) 4 out of 5

Michelina’s Spaghetti & Meatballs

Looks: Once again, the box fails to account for the directions instructing the preparer to stir the meal together. When will these companies learn? Also, the noodles look more like extruded Play-Doh than the spaghetti on the packaging. 3 out of 5

Taste: Absolutely disgusting. The noodles fell apart as if I had cooked them for twice their instructed cooking time, causing the whole meal to feel like pig slop. Half of the meatballs were spongy; the other half were hard. All of them were tasteless, making me wonder just what ratio of breadcrumbs to meat Michelina’s is using in their recipe. The sauce had no redeeming qualities. There are not many meals that I can’t bear to finish, but this was definitely one of them. 0 out of 5