Frozen – Page 11 – Food In Real Life

Heath Klondike Bar

Looks: The bar on the box appears to be taller than the real bar. Other than that (and the fact that I couldn’t bite into it without cracking all of the surrounding chocolate), it is accurately advertised. 4 out of 5

Taste: Very good – I enjoyed this bar much more than a regular Klondike bar, and the only difference is the Heath bits in the chocolate shell. The ice cream is creamy, the chocolate shell isn’t too thick, and the toffee breaks up the monotony of the chocolate/ice cream combo (if you could call such a partnership monotonous). The only beef I have with this bar is that I think it’s about 30% too big – when I get two-thirds of the way through, I feel like I should be done, but there’s still four or five more bites to go. 4 out of 5

Marie Callender’s Old World Rigatoni Bolognese

Looks: The noodles are right, but the sauce is all wrong. Instead of being a thick and hearty tomato sauce with chunks of beef, it consists of some dried-up pieces of meat and a scant amount of liquid. It really makes the difference in how edible the dish looks, wouldn’t you agree? 2 out of 5

Taste: The taste mirrors the looks: the noodles are ok, but the sauce is just meh. The different parts of the sauce never seemed to coalesce, but rather just separated into tomato and beef and liquid. Not only did the sauce not form one mixture, but the different parts of the sauce didn’t stick to the pasta, further separating the dish into “noodles and tomato and beef and liquid” instead of Rigatoni Bolognese. 2 out of 5

Banquet Beef Pot Pie

Looks: I struggled mightily to free this pot pie from its cardboard baking pan so as to have it resemble the boxpie as much as possible, but I was not successful. Then, I tried to cut out a wedge from the top of the crust like on the package, but the roof caved in, and I was not successful. Finally, I tried to show the contents spilling out as on the box, but I couldn’t find any pieces big enough, and thus, I was not successful. The majority of the filling was gravy, as contrasted with the meaty chunks shown on the packaging. The color of the crust is about the only thing they got right. 1 out of 5

Taste: This pot pie was really more of a gravy sandwich, and that’s what it tasted like – crust, gravy, crust, with a few bits of meat and vegetable that got in the way. I shouldn’t have been surprised – according to the box, the main ingredient in the filling is gravy, while containing “2% or less” beef, carrots, and potatoes. Can you really call it a “Beef Pot Pie” when “beef” is an also-ran in the ingredients list? 1.5 out of 5

Tyson Anytizers Stuffed Chicken Cordon Bleu Minis

Looks: Remember how the Pizza Rolls looked like they were singing? Well these Cordon Bleu Bites look like they’re puking their literal guts out. Even after cooling for a few minutes, the filling wasn’t thick enough to remain inside the bites, and instead poured and popped out with every bite. 3.5 out of 5

Taste: I thought they were just ok – the filling didn’t have much flavor and it gummed up my mouth, and the outer chicken sphere was a little dry. My wife, on the other hand, thought they were quite good; she liked the crunchiness of the breading and the cheesiness of the filling. (I already knew she loved cheesy things; she married me, didn’t she? *ba-dum-bum*) 3.5 out of 5

Side note: Over the weekend, I put together a more professional setup for taking these photographs. I built a light tent, purchased some dedicated lighting, and I’ve started experimenting with the advanced features of my camera. Today’s post is the first food picture I took in the new setup. What say you, Internet – is it an improvement?