Looks: “This is a tiny, tiny single serving pizza at 15 cm. (6 in.). There are perforations in the crust to allow for easy division of the pieces. It comes out of the toaster oven looking much sweatier (due to the grease) than the pizza on the package. The green pepper pieces are mere small shreds and there are no visible bits of red pepper. Perhaps the manufacturer was worried about lactose intolerance in Asian consumers and decided to use less cheese than the picture on the package would imply. The image looks like it has been shot through the kind of soft focus lens that is used to make wrinkles harder to see on aging actresses. The real pizza looks rather stark in comparison.” 3 out of 5
Taste: “The crust is really just very soft bread with a little sweetness to it. It’s common in Japan for sugar to be a bigger component in regular bread-based products and you can sense it in this pizza. The sausage is greasy and has the faintest whisper of pork taste, but really doesn’t taste like much of anything. Mainly, you taste the bread and the corn and get an oily mouth. The cheese is a minor textural element. It reminds me of the lame pizza bread I used to have in the elementary school cafeteria, only with more oil. Because of nostalgia, I’ll give it a 2 out of 5.”
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