Preaching truth to packaging. Pictures of packaged food, cooked to specifications, compared to the photo on the box.
Looks: It’s boring to write about foods that look just like their packaging. I bet it’s boring to read about too, isn’t it? 5 out of 5
Taste: Eaten alone, it’s obvious that this bacon was not freshly cooked on a sizzling griddle: it’s kind of rubbery and pretty salty. But if you overcook it a little in order to crumble it over baked potatoes, a thick chowder, or a late-evening Pop-Tart, you won’t be able to tell the difference between this and “real” bacon. 3.5 out of 5
Looks: The noodles are right, but the sauce is all wrong. Instead of being a thick and hearty tomato sauce with chunks of beef, it consists of some dried-up pieces of meat and a scant amount of liquid. It really makes the difference in how edible the dish looks, wouldn’t you agree? 2 out of 5
Taste: The taste mirrors the looks: the noodles are ok, but the sauce is just meh. The different parts of the sauce never seemed to coalesce, but rather just separated into tomato and beef and liquid. Not only did the sauce not form one mixture, but the different parts of the sauce didn’t stick to the pasta, further separating the dish into “noodles and tomato and beef and liquid” instead of Rigatoni Bolognese. 2 out of 5
Looks: Rice has exactly two properties: size and color. This rice fails miserably at color – dark brown instead of golden yellow. 2.5 out of 5
Taste: Gross. Gummy, with a strange taste that doesn’t bring chicken to mind. I managed a bite and a half before giving the rest to my dog Pedro, who normally doesn’t complain about my leftovers, but even he was like “Why would you feed me this?” (Well, he really said “Bark bark bark,” but I knew what he meant.) 0 out of 5
Looks: I struggled mightily to free this pot pie from its cardboard baking pan so as to have it resemble the boxpie as much as possible, but I was not successful. Then, I tried to cut out a wedge from the top of the crust like on the package, but the roof caved in, and I was not successful. Finally, I tried to show the contents spilling out as on the box, but I couldn’t find any pieces big enough, and thus, I was not successful. The majority of the filling was gravy, as contrasted with the meaty chunks shown on the packaging. The color of the crust is about the only thing they got right. 1 out of 5
Taste: This pot pie was really more of a gravy sandwich, and that’s what it tasted like – crust, gravy, crust, with a few bits of meat and vegetable that got in the way. I shouldn’t have been surprised – according to the box, the main ingredient in the filling is gravy, while containing “2% or less” beef, carrots, and potatoes. Can you really call it a “Beef Pot Pie” when “beef” is an also-ran in the ingredients list? 1.5 out of 5