Food In Real Life

Tony's Crispy Crust Cheese Pizza

Looks: Like most frozen pizzas, this pizza isn't cheesed adequately enough to ever have melty cheese string from piece to piece. Apart from that, the shape and color are appropriately depicted on the box. 4 out of 5

Taste: I present to you two facts:

1. This pizza is "Tony's Crispy Crust Pizza."
2. I've never eaten a less crispy pizza in my life.

It was very bready, and very chewy. If I ignore the fact that it was supposed to be crispy, it wasn't too bad for a $1 grocery store pizza, but I have to score it low though due to the missing advertised crispiness. 2 out of 5

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El Monterey Chicken Club Tornados

Looks: The taquitos on the box looks more like they're breaded and baked, but the real-life product is obviously more likely battered and fried. The filling doesn't come off as "appetizing" like it almost does on the box either. 3.5 out of 5

Taste: What you see is what you get. By that, I mean that you barely see the filling, and you barely taste it too. I tried both this chicken ranch flavor as well as a pepperoni variant, and I couldn't tell them apart - the shell is the only taste that stands out. The tortilla wrapping is satisfying though - crunchy and crispy, with definite layers, so I can't give it too low a score. 2.5 out of 5

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Grands! Homestyle Buttermilk Biscuits

Looks: It didn't bake up quite as flat as the one on the packaging, but overall color and texture are close enough. 4 out of 5

Taste: Like a little circle of heaven. Just kidding - it was good though; warm, chewy, with a crusty outside. Really, what else is there to say about the taste of a biscuit? 4 out of 5

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