Looks: The bun is overly browned (-0.5 points), the cheese is an oily orange and it curls up instead of down (-0.5 points), the sausage patty is overcooked (-0.5 points), and I want to deduct one more thing (-0.5 points). 3 out of 5

Taste: Burger King is advertising this sandwich as being blatantly stolen from McDonalds but offered for half the price, so let’s compare it to McDonald’s Sausage Egg McMuffin.

1. The McDonald’s version is so oily I needed to call in the National Guard to help with cleanup efforts after I finished it, but this is lacking any sort of grease overflow.
2. It tastes more “real” than McDonalds’ too; almost as if I made it myself in my kitchen. (That is, if I had access to pre-cooked egg-like squares and a heat lamp to leave it under for 20 minutes.)
3. The sausage is just a little bit spicy, where McDonalds’ meat is unprovocative.
4. The egg is mostly tasteless and not at all like McDonalds’ version of eggs, which aren’t too far off from the real thing.

Burger King is selling this for just $1, so it gets a favorable rating on that aspect, but for every dollar they raise the price, I’d probably take a point off of my rating. It’s good, but not $2 good. 3 out of 5

Looks: Have you ever seen something more delicious looking, especially at 7am? The only thing missing is the faint glow of the heavenly halo that the box depicts, but even though you can’t see it, be assured that I felt the presence of a higher power immediately before eating this. 4 out of 5

Taste: I know I’ve reviewed the bacon version of these in the past, and I know that some people don’t like it when I review two similar items, but some people can just sit on it. Maybe someone who hates bacon was wondering, “Gee, I wonder if the sausage version of that is any good…” Well, now they’ll know: the sausage version is even better than the bacon version. I had no trouble with overcooked biscuit this time, and the egg, cheese, and sauce combination was still delicious. The bacon topping had been a little bit dry, but the sausage topping is perfectly hydrated. I’ve bought an entire freezer to fill with these as soon as they go on sale. 5 out of 5

Looks: The entire thing looks like it’s had the air taken out of it. Did I accidentally step into my vacuum chamber again? 3.5 out of 5

Taste: I reviewed the potatoes and apples in a previous post; their presence gives this meal a maximum possible score of 3.5 out of 5. The croissant sandwich is actually quite good – not good in terms of real croissants, real sausages, or real cheeses, but good in terms of “I’m late for work and need something to shove in my mouth on the way there.” It reminded me very much of the croissant sandwiches that Burger King sells for breakfast – soft and not too spicy. This passable sandwich brings the overall meal average to 3 out of 5. 3 out of 5

Looks: Instead of a thick juicy tomato sauce, I see a dry brown bowl of noodles and meat. 3 out of 5

Taste: Bland. The sausage coins were ok, but everything else was just bleh – gritty meatballs, lackluster sauce, overcooked noodles. 2 out of 5

Looks: If Totino’s hadn’t felt the need to show off the bursting guts of the flying pizza rolls, this product would have gotten 5 out of 5. However, there’s no way that the amount of filling inside will overflow the crust like they depict on the box, unless you peeled away half of the roll rather than cutting it. Besides that though, the size and color are perfect. 4 out of 5

Taste: Except for being a little bit oily, these Pizza Rolls taste great. They have a rich flavor, and the bits of meat are actual tangible, unlike some other “meat” flavored products I’ve tried. Make sure you let them cool off for about five minutes before eating them, or your burnt mouth won’t be able to taste their delicious flavor. (Side note: I can’t look at the real-life picture without picturing the open pizza rolls singing a little pizza roll song.) 4 out of 5

Looks: It feels kind of like the toppings migrated towards the center of the pizza. I used to work at Domino’s so I know of this tendency, since it’s easier to just sprinkle the food over the middle than to work the whole pie, but come on Pizza Hut employee, take a little pride in your work. 3.5 out of 5

Taste: Come on, we’ve all tasted a Pizza Hut Supreme pizza before, right? I don’t have to describe it here, do I? It is Friday after all… I put up quality posts here, every day, at 6 am. Is it too much to ask for a day off once in a while? Here’s your stinkin’ review: bready, chewy, tasty, greasy, too many peppers. 3 out of 5

Looks: Well, the ingredients are in the right order, but none of them appear as advertised. The muffin is kind of wimpy, the egg misshapen, the sausage smaller than it should be, and the cheese is more of a greasy oil square that won’t melt. 2 out of 5

Taste: You remember that episode of The Simpsons where Homer drank a candle in order to coat his mouth with wax so he could eat the insanely hot peppers? Yeah, it’s kind of like that. The sandwich tastes ok – mostly like sausage and English muffin, but it leaves a coating of grease in your mouth for about three hours. So if you need tongue protection for some dangerous eating stunt, by all means, start with a Sausage Egg McMuffin. 1 out of 5