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McCain Potato Smiles

Friday, September 18th, 2009

Looks: Not much to say here; they look exactly like they do on the package. (Depending on your preferred skin tone, just adjust the baking time to get your color of choice.) 5 out of 5

Taste: They don’t have much of a taste, although the entertainment factor of eating faces makes them more enjoyable to eat than your average tator tot. However, even slathered with ketchup, these smileys are extremely dry. After eating only a few, they had sapped all of the saliva out of my mouth, and after I finished a plateful, I had to be put on an IV in order to rehydrate. 2 out of 5

Posted in Frozen, Hall of Fame (Looks), McCain, Oven, Potatoes, Smileys, Vegetarian | 8 Comments »

DiGiorno Stuffed Crust Five Cheese Pizza

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

Looks: The cheese didn’t melt as evenly as depicted, probably because there was far more cheddar in the mix than depicted on the box. Additionally, the outer rim of half the pizza swelled way up, making the crust appear to be 4 inches wide in spots. The cheese inside the crust was not as obvious as on the package, and there were a lot of stray sauce spots peeking through where cheese was missing. 3 out of 5

Taste: Meh. It tastes like any any frozen pizza, until you get to the crust, where you’re suddenly put off by the overpowering greasiness and bitterness of the cheddar cheese mixture (think Cheez Whiz) they inexplicably used to stuff the crust instead of mozzerella. I wouldn’t buy it again. 2 out of 5

Posted in Digiorno, Frozen, Oven, Pizza | 12 Comments »

Barber Foods Stuffed Chicken Breasts

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009

Looks: Even before cooking, all of the portions were split open on top, exposing the not-quite-the-right-red marinara filling. The chicken doesn’t have the same meaty mass as the box pictures, but the crust and chicken are the correct color, so it’s got that going for it (which is nice). Oh, and the plate pictured on the box would have to be at most four inches in diameter. 3 out of 5

Taste: Confusing. My tastebuds were like “Mmmm, I like these tastes,” but my mouth was like “Uhhhh, I’m not so sure about these textures.” The crust was flavorful and a little crunchy, and the sauce made up for the chicken’s dryness, but none of the textures meshed together. It was more like I was eating some breading and also some chicken and also some sauce that just happened to be sitting next to each other. 3 out of 5

Posted in Barber Foods, Chicken, Marinara, Oven | 7 Comments »

Antioch Farms Chicken Kiev

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

Looks: While the color and texture are almost identical, the chicken kiev pictured on the box is about 50% longer than the ones found inside. (There is no way that the sliced and unsliced portions on the box belong to the same kiev.) The butter sauce is portrayed accurately, even though my picture doesn’t really show it. (It’s boiling-lava hot, so slicing the chicken without splashing butter magma everywhere was a challenge.) 4 out of 5

Taste: Pretty good. The very ends of the chicken were a bit dry, as they didn’t benefit from the butter bath that the other slices received, but the breading was crisp and the rest of the chicken moist and flavorful. 4.5 out of 5

Posted in Antioch Farms, Chicken, Frozen, Oven | 4 Comments »

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