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Tyson Anytizers Ranch Flavored Chicken Fries

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009

Looks: The only difference I found between the box and the real deal is that the real fries have a significant number of black specks on them (probably part of the Ranch seasoning). You might also be able to make the argument that the fries on the box have a bumpier texture than the fries inside the box, but I don’t think it’s an argument you’d win. 4.5 out of 5

Taste: Ranchtastic. Wait, I want to say Chickentastic instead. Wait, I mean… Ranchickentastic. Whatever word I use, the fries were crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside, with just the right amount of ranch flavor – not so little that you can’t detect it, but not so much that your breath smells like salad dressing the rest of the day. 4 out of 5

Posted in Chicken, Frozen, Oven, Tyson | 4 Comments »

Tyson Anytizers Stuffed Chicken Cordon Bleu Minis

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

Looks: Remember how the Pizza Rolls looked like they were singing? Well these Cordon Bleu Bites look like they’re puking their literal guts out. Even after cooling for a few minutes, the filling wasn’t thick enough to remain inside the bites, and instead poured and popped out with every bite. 3.5 out of 5

Taste: I thought they were just ok – the filling didn’t have much flavor and it gummed up my mouth, and the outer chicken sphere was a little dry. My wife, on the other hand, thought they were quite good; she liked the crunchiness of the breading and the cheesiness of the filling. (I already knew she loved cheesy things; she married me, didn’t she? *ba-dum-bum*) 3.5 out of 5

Side note: Over the weekend, I put together a more professional setup for taking these photographs. I built a light tent, purchased some dedicated lighting, and I’ve started experimenting with the advanced features of my camera. Today’s post is the first food picture I took in the new setup. What say you, Internet – is it an improvement?

Posted in Cheese, Chicken, Frozen, Ham, Oven, Tyson | 18 Comments »

Red Baron Biscuit-Style Scrambles (Bacon)

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

Looks: While the food on the box appears as a golden, flaky, biscuit covered in fluffy eggs and melted cheese, the real deal is closer to a molten Pac-Man dead-set on devouring you and anyone you care about. The crust singes around the edges, the cheese doesn’t melt evenly, and the bacon cooks much darker than pictured. 3.5 out of 5

Taste: Regardless of how it looks, this thing is delicious – it’s like deep-dish pizza had a baby with an Egg McMuffin, and they named it Scrambles. The cheese and bacon are great (of course), and although the egg doesn’t really make you think “hey, this tastes like eggs,” it doesn’t detract from the flavor. There’s also a creamy sauce underneath the toppings, and it is most likely made from magic pixie deliciousness dust. My only complaint is that the outer edge of the biscuit gets too hard during cooking. 4.5 out of 5

Posted in Bacon, Cheese, Egg, Frozen, Oven, Red Baron | 4 Comments »

Pillsbury Crusty French Loaf

Saturday, October 31st, 2009

Looks: As you can see, my loaf was lopsided. Maybe that’s intended, to make it seem more authentically homemade, but I found it offputting. Who wants to eat a lumpy loaf? Nobody. Besides that, the bread didn’t brown to the same tone of brown as the bread on the packaging did, but that could have been due to cooking time. 4 out of 5

Taste: Good for coming out of a can. The crust was flaky, and the bread was chewy and not too dry or too moist. However: there’s something off about Pillsbury bread products thought that I always taste – maybe it’s a preservative or whatever they use to keep it from sticking to the can, but every time, there’s a slightly-off aftertaste. It’s not enough to spoil the taste itself though, so I give it 4 out of 5

Posted in Bread, Oven, Pillsbury, Refrigerated | 5 Comments »

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