Looks: This walleye must have been the Yao Ming of walleyes, because it’s about 100% longer than the filet featured in their ad. (Not that I’m complaining.) It reminds me of the hobos in cartoons that are wearing shoes that are five sizes too small, so their feet split out the end of the shoes and they wear the shoes more like sandals. Do you know what I mean? The shoe in this case is the bun, and the hobo foot is the fish. 2.5 out of 5

Taste: I’m not sure that Culver’s can make a non-delicious food. Their butterburgers are amazing, and this sandwich was almost as good. Crispy, crunchy breading; moist, delicious fish; soft, chewy bun. At one point while eating this sandwich, I tried to open my mouth so wide that I actually hurt myself. Does that paint a picture of how quickly I was trying to cram this fish into my gullet?

The only deduction I’m taking due to a slight bitter aftertaste I got after two or three bites; I’m not sure if that’s unique to walleye or if it was related to residual cooking oil, but it wasn’t enough to stop me from immediately wanting to go buy another one. 4.5 out of 5

Note: The walleye sandwich is a promotional item and will only be available through Easter Sunday (April 4).

Looks: The wrap in the ad is beefy, the tortilla filled to the point of bursting. The wrap in real life looks like a scared little hamburger turtle, just barely poking its head out of its shell. No lettuce or onions to speak of – just beef and cheese.

If you were to open up the wrap, you’d see this work of art:

I’m getting hungry just looking at this picture, aren’t you? Not even half a beef patty, and even fewer toppings than are visible poking out of the end of the wrap in the ad. 2 out of 5

Taste: It tastes… very much like a Big Mac. Well, until the third bite, when you’ve used up all the special sauce and cheese, and you’re left with three more bites of dry beef and tortilla. I would have given the first bite a four, but the last bite was more like a 1 – I guess I’ll have to go with the average. 2.5 out of 5

Looks: This picture was taken in a rush, so it’s not at the correct angle or anything, but I assure you it’s not too far off from the box. (Also, the box only depicts the standard chicken sandwich; this one had bacon added to it.) The bun is reasonably similar, and from seeing it in real life, I know that the chicken wasn’t significantly different from the packaging. 4 out of 5

Taste: Good, but not great. The chicken was juicy (which is more than I can say for the Angus burger purchased at the same visit), and the bun was nice and chewy. Neither had too much flavor, but the addition of “bacon” helped that a little bit. I’d probably buy it again, but it wouldn’t be my first choice. (For what it’s worth, my wife, whose favorite foods include chicken and bread, said she would have given this sandwich at least 4 out of 5.) 3.5 out of 5

Looks: It has about 50% of the meat it should, and the same goes for the sauce. (Sorry that the picture doesn’t show this, but it was Halloween night and there were trick-or-treaters at the door. And yes, I did get this taco for free.) The lettuce and cheese are true to form. The shell is indeed black. AMAZING! 4 out of 5

Taste: It tastes really black. Wait, no it doesn’t, because black isn’t a flavor – it tastes like the regular Taco Bell taco, with a tiny bit more spice from the sauce. (I don’t know how they get the shell black, but it’s not by use of any spices or flavorings.) It was kind of cool to eat though, because besides olives, how many black foods are there? 4 out of 5