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Archive for the ‘Hormel’ Category

Hormel Compleats Turkey & Dressing with Gravy

Friday, November 6th, 2009

Looks: The turkey lurks, just below the surface, peering out like a cloudy pupil-less eye. What lies beneath? Only time will tell:

This is going to surprise you, but that was actually a picture of the food before I ate it, not after I chewed it and spit it out. To be fair, the turkey and gravy look close enough to the picture on the package, but the stuffing literally looks like canned dog food. Stay tuned for the next paragraph, where I actually put this stuff in my mouth! 1.5 out of 5

Taste: WHY DID I EVER PUT THIS IN MY MOUTH? After trying the roast beef Compleat, I never should have even opened this. The turkey was gritty, the gravy was chunky, and the stuffing was the worst excuse for a bread-based product I’ve ever tasted in my life – soggy, goopy, with no discernable texture. The benefit of this meal looking and tasting like dog food was that my dog had no problem finishing it off for me. 0 out of 5

Posted in Dry, Gravy, Hall of Shame (Taste), Hormel, Microwave, Stuffing, Turkey | 13 Comments »

Hormel Compleats Roast Beef with Gravy

Sunday, October 25th, 2009

Looks: Nothing about the way this looks makes me want to eat it. The gravy is translucent (not thick like on the cover), yet there’s so much of it that you can’t see through it to the potatoes below. The potatoes appear to be a single solid mass, rather than fluffy mounds, and the roast beef slab lurks near the surface like the carcass of a dead Loch Ness monster. None of these things are depicted on the box. 1.5 out of 5

Taste: Craptacular. Even with all that gravy, the beef is so dry that I needed to continually drink bottles of water while I chewed it to avoid dehydration. The potatoes are nasty (closer to modeling clay than vegetable), and the gravy wouldn’t stick to them. I managed three bites of this “Compleat” meal before throwing it away – I didn’t feel comfortable feeding it to my dog. I suppose I should have known it would be terrible; it’s roast beef that you store in your pantry… That’s just not right. 0 out of 5

Posted in Gravy, Hall of Shame (Looks), Hall of Shame (Taste), Hormel, Microwave, Potatoes, Roast Beef | 16 Comments »

Hormel Homestyle Meat Loaf & Tomato Sauce

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

Bonus picture of the entire meatloaf, post-cooking:

Looks: I did not expect this to score any higher than a 3, but what can I say? Once it’s sliced, the meatloaf in the box matches the meatloaf on the box. 5 out of 5

Taste: While it’s not the best meatloaf I’ve ever had (that honor is tied between my mom’s meatloaf with cheese on top and the lamb meatloaf at Santorini), it’s surprisingly good for only taking four minutes to microwave. It was a little oily, and the meat grind was overly smooth, but I would probably buy this again if I’m ever in the market for pre-made meatloaf. 3.5 out of 5

Posted in Hall of Fame (Looks), Hamburger, Hormel, Microwave, Refrigerated, Tomato Sauce | 8 Comments »