Looks: Don’t worry; those fuzzy blue spots aren’t mold, they’re flavor explosions! If they were a little more solid instead of looking like they were spray-painted on, this would be a perfect 5 out of 5. 4.5 out of 5

Taste: Long story short, they taste mostly like the top of a muffin. Not a really good muffin though, more like those little mini-muffins you can get in bags of five or six – loaded with extra sugar and too sweet to really be a breakfast food. My wife likes them well enough, but I can’t eat anything that sweet before noon, unless it’s a pop-tart. 3.5 out of 5

“Star Trek Eggo waffles don’t taste much different from your usual Eggo waffles. A little carboard-ey and has a lot of air inside. It’s good if you have nothing else to eat for breakfast. 2 out of 5 (versus real waffles)”

Here’s a picture of how they’re advertised:

Looks: The outside of the product is almost exactly the same as the one pictured on the box. The inside, however, looks nothing like the packaging. Rather than two solid tubes of apple filling, the pastry contains two flat apple stripes, and the solid breading surrounding the filling is actually crumbly and cakey. (So crumbly, in fact, that I couldn’t make a clean cut to show the filling.) 3 out of 5

Taste: The twist is sweet, soft, and tastes like apple pie. (The sugar on top is a nice touch.) The only bad thing about this pastry is that it’s gone in three bites or less; it would have earned a full 5 out of 5 if it were two feet long. 4 out of 5

P.S. Eggo – if you do introduce a two-foot-long version of this pasty, I would like to be the first to know. Thanks!