This bar is pretty much the Kellogg’s Chocolate Chip FiberPlus Bar, but with peanut butter chips on top, so I’ll save you the trouble of going to read that review and paste it in here with the appropriate changes for you.

Looks: Maybe if I had left this bar under my photography lamps a little longer, the chocolate would have gotten all melty like on the box. The oats look a little off too – I don’t see any white ones on the box. With peanut butter chips on top. 4 out of 5

Taste: The dark chocolate and almond version of this bar is amazing; but this one only “very good.” I found the milk chocolate a little too sweet, and the bar itself is a little less chewy than the dark chocolate one. Still very tasty though; don’t get me wrong. With peanut butter chips on top. 4 out of 5

Looks: Except for their slightly washed-out appearance (which I assure you is not just a side-effect of the photography), these “crisps” exist as depicted on the box. 4.5 out of 5

Taste: You may recall that I have an “appreciation” for blueberry Pop-Tarts. These crisps are basically mini blueberry Pop-tarts, but even better, because it’s socially acceptable to eat them at all hours of the day. No more yearning for Pop-Tarts at 3pm but withholding out of shame – I’ll be enjoying some variety of sugar-frosted blueberry cracker snack 24/7. 5 out of 5

There aren’t any Trader Joe’s in my area, so this edition of Food In Real Life comes to you courtesy of reader Emily Tanoury. Thanks Emily!

Looks: “Definitely no corn (although the written description on the back of the packaging never lists corn in the description) and you don’t really see those bits of rehydrated mushrooms. Also, there is not as much separation of the noodles and liquids as the picture depicts. These rice noodles suck up the broth, and the broth and the noodles are all the same color. In the picture the broth looks a little more of a rich brown.” 3 out of 5

Taste: “Wonderful-ness. Not overly salty, but definitely had a mushroom taste to it and the seasonings were quite good as well. The noodles absorbed most of the liquid, but it made it easy to eat with chop sticks. If you are looking for a soup, these noodle bowls definitely are not it, but if you are looking for sticky noodles, these are the best way to go. Missed the corn though.” 4.5 out of 5

Looks: This bar looks like someone took the bar on the box and bashed it with a hammer. There are none of those mini chocolate pieces, the Chex pieces are all crumbled, and the bar is struggling to maintain a rectangular shape. 2.5 out of 5

Taste: I think I have the actual recipe for this bar: take some Chex mix, pour some sickly-sweet chocolate all over it, bash it with a hammer, and then have a kindergarten class form this mix into bars. The bar is very gritty – it falls apart when you bite it, and the chocolate is too sweet for this to be in the same category as granola/nut bars, putting it firmly in the cookie/sweets category. 3 out of 5

Looks: The crackers don’t have as smooth a surface as the ones on the box, and their color is bit more varied. (If you look closely, you can see that I managed to snap a picture of the mythical “unseparated cracker” in the top of the photograph – the fault line is there, but it was never completely broken.) 4 out of 5

Taste: You’ll notice that the box claims that these taste “Better than Wheat Thins!” I’m a big fan of Wheat Thins, but I agree with the box. Wheatable are like a cross between a Wheat Thin and a Ritz cracker. Wheaty and slightly sweet like the Wheat Thin, but crispy, like the Ritz; I had to stop myself from absentmindedly eating the whole box. What’s the deal with their shape though? 5 out of 5

Looks: The “cake” portion of these cake and sugar sandwiches doesn’t have the slightly browned and cracked cake exterior as the cakes on the box, and the white filling could use a kick in the pants. Also, no clouds in sight. 4 out of 5

Taste: Do you want a snack that is simultaneously so dry that your tongue becomes a useless slab of flesh, so sweet that your teeth cry out in pain, but yet delicious enough that you keep shoving them into your mouth? Have a Golden Oreo Cakester! (By the way, they don’t taste anything like oreos.) 3 out of 5

Looks: Maybe if I had left this bar under my photography lamps a little longer, the chocolate would have gotten all melty like on the box. The oats look a little off too – I don’t see any white ones on the box. 4 out of 5

Taste: The dark chocolate and almond version of this bar is amazing; but this one only “very good.” I found the milk chocolate a little too sweet, and the bar itself is a little less chewy than the dark chocolate one. Still very tasty though; don’t get me wrong. 4 out of 5

Bonus Paragraph! This is the perfect opportunity to shill the new Food In Real Life T-Shirts!

Use the same method as the food photography pros: whether you’re built like a tank, or… not, let the world know that your size is intentional. Shirts are available in all sorts of sizes and colors, for both men and women and also pregnant women.

Looks: The sauce isn’t quite thick enough to fill in the holes in the ends of the noodles, and the noodles aren’t long enough to curve like the noodles on the box; both are minor nitpicks though. 4 out of 5

Taste: It’s very similar to the normal Kraft Macaroni & Cheese that everyone has had at least once in their life, except without the sharp bite of the yellow cheddar cheese mix. I definitely preferred the more mild taste of the white cheddar, but like most Kraft Mac & Cheese, every subsequent bite was a little worse than the one before it, and by the end, I felt a little queasy. My body must immediately start building immunity against whatever chemicals Kraft is using to make this dish taste so good. 4 out of 5

Looks: It’s boring to write about foods that look just like their packaging. I bet it’s boring to read about too, isn’t it? 5 out of 5

Taste: Eaten alone, it’s obvious that this bacon was not freshly cooked on a sizzling griddle: it’s kind of rubbery and pretty salty. But if you overcook it a little in order to crumble it over baked potatoes, a thick chowder, or a late-evening Pop-Tart, you won’t be able to tell the difference between this and “real” bacon. 3.5 out of 5

Looks: Rice has exactly two properties: size and color. This rice fails miserably at color – dark brown instead of golden yellow. 2.5 out of 5

Taste: Gross. Gummy, with a strange taste that doesn’t bring chicken to mind. I managed a bite and a half before giving the rest to my dog Pedro, who normally doesn’t complain about my leftovers, but even he was like “Why would you feed me this?” (Well, he really said “Bark bark bark,” but I knew what he meant.) 0 out of 5